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WHITE WALLS: THE INEVITABLE AFTERMATH

To those of you who need to know the back story, White Walls, you may want to read it before continuing!

My friend, the one that was put into a hospital, as died. Her time was comming and she told me this over and over. But no matter how much i prepared for this moment to come i still find myself, almost a month after, incomplete and empty without her. i still haven't even given myself time to cry. i can feel the tears there but just can't slow down enough to put life on a standstill and properly cleanse myself of this void.

She said to me that she'd give me a gift for my birthday but she knew she'd never live long enough to see me mold another ring. She held me one night when i turned mysteriously sick and couldn't stand on my own. She help me hold strong and told me to "stick to my guns" when i needed my own confidence and strength the most. When i had chosen to conceid into nothing she helped me radiate. She's done so much for me.

We've done so much for each other.

i've watched over her when she was sick, listened to her while she was in pain, supported her when she had her finger damn near ripped off her hand. Watched her heal. Heard the fear in her voice.

One thing she told me was when she died to look for a white owl. Her watching over me. She adopted me as her little brother. Kissed my forehead when i needed it and told me it was okay.

i don't even think there's enough i could say about her to do her presence on this plane justice, especially taken into concideration the abuse she's suffered in this world. There's no ending to how much i'll miss her.

Until i know how to wash away the pain of loosing her, i'll suffer in silence.

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